Just because exes still make us feel good, doesn’t mean they are right for us.

Even after 25 years. I damn well reckon The Recycled Boyfriend does have other ‘sweet cheeks’ around the globe, and he’s keeping his options open wherever he goes.

I got another email shortly after the first one when he was five weeks into his holiday.

Rather than ‘sweet cheeks’ it was just “hi,” then off he went like he was talking to a friend. I picked the vibe instantly.  

Ever since I knew him, his personality would chop and change like this. I can’t handle the unpredictability.

Then came THE email. He had booked his ticket home. His adventures were coming to an end. But the Labour Weekend we were meant to be sharing together for our birthdays was not happening. He had found a cheaper $200 flight a week later, and said he was sorry, but we could still hang out over Christmas?

You can imagine what my instant reaction was. Are you freaking kidding me? I had just told Fitness Boy my heart was elsewhere and yet now I’m just floating around nowhere, seething with rage and humility as I instantly hear my family and friends screaming “I told you so”.  

We live and learn. The five week absence really was a sign after all. I just didn’t want to see it. We never want to see those red flags.

Meanwhile, Fitness Boy invited me to lunch at his house to cheer me up but I couldn’t quite digest mince out of a can, even with a perfect poached egg on top. Who does mince out of a can? That’s up there with spam.  

I told him I wasn’t in the mood for any romance and his reply was “that’s not going to work for me”, which I interpreted as it was all or nothing. He said it from the start that he didn’t just want to be friends - despite my heart being elsewhere.

So I quietly left and subtly cut all communication. Then I jumped back onto the online dating site. I have no idea why, it’s a lot like window shopping I guess. Just seeing what’s out there.

There was a nice looking man from Queenstown who was Norwegian and new to online dating and we started chatting and I promised to play nice. Because my problem is I do get bored quickly and then just disappear. But he may not even know what ghosting is, and I didn’t have it in me to be that cruel.  

So I may just have to start going out for lunches and coffees with him for a while, to at least give him a positive dating experience.

We have absolutely nothing in common. His profile reads, ‘enjoys country music (nope not me) and watching sport on TV (nope definitely not me), but he looked nice and I have no idea why I pursued it. I think it was because he’s not a kiwi bloke and I was curious.

Tune in next time where I update you on this latest development. Who knows? Maybe he’s the one? I doubt it though.