The Recycled Boyfriend has been renamed Disappearing Boyfriend. I have no clue where he is - or even what country he’s currently in.

I think we can safely say he’s no longer a feature in my life. 

Fitness Boy has just gone back to being all about fitness - as it should’ve been from the beginning, until he wooed me with his lunch invites (no not the mince in the can type either).

And then along came the Norwegian - just for a bit of fun, I thought, as it was his first time on a dating website, and I thought he sounded nice.

He lives an hour away from me, so when he asked me out, I politely offered to drive halfway to meet him, but he said, “no I’m old fashioned and want to do this properly. I’ll come to you and we’ll go out

somewhere near your town.”

Well I have to say I was impressed by his effort, but told him my town was quite small and would prefer to be discreet until we got to know each other. He understood. Then he asked me what my ideal

first date would look like. Even more impressed. I said lunch and a walk would perfectly suffice.  We agreed to catch up the following Saturday. He did ask if he could bring his dog - and sent me a photo

of him with his very large St Bernard taking up the entire back seat of his car. Should I follow suit and bring my children? Surely he could leave the extras at home just for a few hours?

Mid-week came but the messages became less. He said he was running a lot, “to take my mind off things that haven’t been good lately,” he explained, and I wondered if volunteering that information

was a good thing to do when starting to get to know someone.

No judgement (but my first kind of red flag). In my opinion, we all have ‘stuff’ going on, and if it’s taking up the majority of your time, then you probably aren’t ready for the dating world.

It got to Friday - the day before he was supposed to be coming over, and my week was getting increasingly busy. I knew I would struggle to find the time, but was now also annoyed there was no

itinerary from Mr Norway. Surely he must know my life is busy like his, and I’m actually not sitting around waiting for the weekend?

Saturday morning came and still no plans, so I cheekily and almost innocently asked what his ETA was.   

“Oh sorry I have been meaning to call you,” he said. Then he called, but actually I was too busy to answer. There was a child in ear shot and I needed some privacy. I told him to give me 15

minutes. Then I rang him and he said he was in the bathroom. So I waited, and waited, (an hour actually), because I was determined to hear his excuse before I gave him a lecture.

Then I started texting my friends to tell them - Mr Norway has been in the bathroom for an hour, should I be worried? “Yes,” ask him if he’s okay? one said. Perhaps he’s passed out, or is really

unwell? But I knew he couldn’t handle the pressure. He just wanted me to disappear. So I did. Blocked his Whats App number and took my profile off the dating website. 

Oh I am sick of all the bullshi*. Where are all the normal people? Why does everyone have so much ‘stuff’ going on? Just show up if you say you are going to show up. Otherwise stop wasting people’s

time.

It’s time to focus on my friends and family. There’s a Halloween party on this weekend and I’m committed to going. To showing up. Perhaps dressed as a witch I might be able to create some magic

somewhere.