I got phubbed this week, and to my surprise I found there’s a growing body of research around the phenomenon.

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It’s a memorable expression. Phubbing has become so common, it has made its way into the dictionary alongside other newly relevant social terms like selfie, photobombing and FOMO (fear of missing out). 

Phubbing was first coined as a term in May 2012. An Australian advertising agency created the word to describe the growing phenomenon of people ignoring their friends and family who were right in front of them, instead scrolling through their phones. Phone snubbing.

While the word might not be in your daily vocabulary, the action likely is. One study found that more than 17 percent of people phub others at least four times a day. Almost 32 percent of people report being phubbed two to three times a day.

As research grows, two other terms have also emerged: Friend phubbing, or Fphubbing, is the act of using your smartphone while interacting with your friends.  Partner phubbing, or Pphubbing, describes an individual who is distracted by his or her cell phone while in the company of a relationship partner.

Are you a phubber, a Fphubber of a Pphubber? Have you been phubbed?

While the behaviour might not seem like a big deal, research suggests phubbing may be hurting your relationships and your own mental health. Phubbing interrupts your ability to be present and engage with the people around you.

And when somebody else phubs you, you can feel rejected, excluded and not important. That can have a significant impact on your mental health.

People who are phubbed are also more likely to reach for their own phones and try to engage with their social media network to fill the void. It becomes a vicious cycle.

Scientists found several factors that lead to problematic smartphone use, including certain personality traits and psychological stress.

According to data gathered from 472 people, mainly students, those who are the most depressed, socially anxious or neurotic are the most likely to phub.

Some people use their smartphones intentionally to avoid or ignore others around them.  Others might use phubbing as an efficient means for time management. If you’re feeling uncertain about yourself or you’re in a high anxiety mode, you might be looking for support from a community and that’s where the phone comes in.

There is also some degree of FOMO involved. If you are turning to a community for support, digital social connections can become more important than in-person friendships, so you want to stay on top of them.

Whatever the reason for phubbing, the behaviour can end up making face-to-face interactions less meaningful, resulting in lower quality conversation and feelings of dissatisfaction.

The research also noted that phubbing impacts both the people who phub and those who are phubbed.

Scientists say we don’t yet know the long-term repercussions of phubbing, but all agree it does appear to harm our relationships - whether partner relationships, relationships with children, family or friends. 

Are you a phubber?

The number one sign that you are guilty of being a phubber is in your hand - your phone. If your phone is with you at all times because you’re afraid you’ll miss a call or a status update, you’re quite likely to be guilty of phubbing.

Do you carry on two conversations at once - on the phone and in person?

Do you have your phone out at dinner or in other social settings?

Can you get through a meal without checking your phone?

You may need to make meals a no-phone zone. Yes, we all need our phones to scan and sign in, but then leave your phone in your pocket or bag. Put it on silent, and turn off that vibrating alert. Whatever alerts or updates happen, they’ll still be waiting for you when you get home.

Make ignoring your phone a challenge. Set a goal, and when you’ve completed that goal, treat yourself, then challenge yourself again.

If you want to stop someone else phubbing you, model good behaviour, and call them out.

You don’t have to stop using your phone to stop phubbing. You just have to be more aware. Your mental health and your relationships will thank you for it.

Journal references: 

Behaviour & Information Technology, DOI: 10.1080/0144929X.2021.1943711

Science Direct, doi.org/10.1016/j.chb.2015.07.058

Journal of Applied Social Psychology, doi.org/10.1111/jasp.12506

Image credit: Mikel Parera on Unsplash