As a parent, discussions with your teen about alcohol are some of the most important conversations you’ll have. 

Conversations with your teen about alcohol are some of the most important conversations you’ll have. 

Setting good ground rules, modelling responsible drinking behaviour yourself, and providing your teen with the facts about alcohol will all help them make better choices around drinking.

Talking with your teen about alcohol, parties and keeping themselves safe isn’t always easy, but the experts behind bringing the initiative ‘The Plan’ to Central Otago have provided some resources to help parents – starting with participating bottle stores and liquor outlets around Alexandra.

CODA, or Central Otago Drugs and Alcohol, is a group of eighteen organisations who have come together to take positive action and help reduce harm to people in our local communities.

“The younger a person starts drinking alcohol, the more likely they are to go on to drink harmfully in their late teens and into their adult life,” says Public Health South health promoter Sophie Glover.

Parents got together, and ‘The Plan’ emerged as a resource to help other parents help their teens, and reduce that risk.

“The Plan is a series of resources that help parents plan conversations with young people, and inform them about the laws relating to minors,” CODA member Stephanie Bekhuis-Pay explains.

It may not always seem like it, but parents do have influence, and we can help ensure our kids have the information they need to make better choices in the moment.

Having open conversations with your teen, making it clear what’s okay and what’s not okay, and writing down a family plan, are all important, the group emphasises.

Teens face a lot of peer pressure to drink - giving them the facts can help them to make better decisions.

Give them facts.

That means it’s time to school up and know your legal obligations as a parent.

Arm your teens with knowledge that backs up the rules you set – and keep the lines of communication open, is the advice.

“Kids come home, there’s peer pressure, there’s a party and ‘my friends are allowed to take alcohol’, and parents often don’t really know how to deal with that,” says Stephanie.

“Parents might be holding a 17 year old birthday party, they might think it’s OK to put a few beers out for the kids, and that’s actually against the law.

“The Plan is a set of tools we’re putting into bottle stores, so parents can pick them up, take them home and read them.

“It’s just some guidance about doing it right.”

Even after understanding the law and agreeing to rules around drinking, teens don’t always make the right choices. It is crucial they know they can talk to you and that you’ll be there if something goes wrong.

There are some great online resources on alcohol.org.nz and The Plan website has a variety of facts and conversation starters here.

What does the law actually say?

Under the Sale and Supply of Alcohol Act, the minimum legal age for purchasing alcohol in Aotearoa New Zealand is 18 years old.

We have no minimum legal drinking age.

This means, anyone under the age of 18 years is not able to legally purchase alcohol. They are allowed legally to consume alcohol.

Te Hiringa Hauora Health Promotion Agency states on their website that in this way, the law backs up parents. 

The law is based on the premise that parents should determine how and when their children are introduced to alcohol. So, it makes it illegal for anyone to supply alcohol to someone under the age of 18 years, without the express consent of their parent or guardian.

What does this mean when your teen goes to a party where there will be alcohol?

Ask your teen questions like: Whose party is it? Where is it? What is their parents’ phone number? How will you get home afterwards, and by what time?

Will there be alcohol there? Which adults will supervise teens who drink? How will they supervise?

Have you decided if your teen is allowed to drink alcohol? If so, how much? And very importantly, have you given your express permission to the hosts for your teen to drink alcohol at the party?

“If you’re hosting a party,” says Stephanie, “parents need to be aware they need parental consent if providing alcohol, you’ve got to be at the party with the kids, not tucked away in the house while they’re in the shed.

“It’s about being there, watching what’s going on, ensuring there’s plenty of food, plenty of non-alcoholic drinks, transport home, all these things.

“And knowing your responsibilities under the law if you give your teen alcohol.”

“When we spoke to parents to help make sure the resources were right for them, we found they weren’t really sure what ‘express consent’ or ‘active supervision’ meant in real terms”, says Sharleen.

‘Express permission’ or ‘express consent’ does not mean a message relayed through your teen. ‘Express consent’ means a personal conversation, an email or text message that you have good reason to believe is genuine.

The alcohol.org.nz and The Plan websites both have good examples of how to be very clear about what you actually agree to.

Set and enforce your ground rules.

Consistency is key with every aspect of parenting, and rules around drinking are no different. 

Every family will make different choices around how they introduce alcohol, explains Sharleen, and that’s up to each parent.  

“Just make sure your teen understands clearly what the rules are.

Be a good role model.

The science says: Delay, delay, delay.

The brain is still developing throughout the teenage years, which means teens are more susceptible to alcohol-related harm. 

“Parents also wanted information about what alcohol does to young people and their developing minds, when they are drinking earlier and earlier,” says Sharleen.

“Parents want to do the right thing, but there’s a lot of peer pressure out there for teens.”

Science shows drinking alcohol affects brain development and learning ability for teens, as well as increasing chances of injury, assault and risky sexual behaviour.

Even small amounts of alcohol can harm a young person, so the experts agree it’s best to delay introducing your teen to alcohol for as long as possible.

For more information and links to resources, click here.

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