Christmas can be a stressful time for many people, and Police warn people to be aware of any signs of family harm. 

Warning: This story contains the topic of family harm. If you need help or know somebody in need of help, please scroll to the bottom of this story for a list of services which can help out. 

Police National Manager Prevention Superintendent Eric Tibbott says family violence is a reality for thousands of families in New Zealand and remains a widespread problem in our communities.

“Unfortunately this time of the year is one of the busiest times for Police attending family violence incidents,” Eric says. 

“We are aware that there are extra pressures at this time of year that can exacerbate relationship issues and put a strain on individuals and families.”

Eric explained added financial stress, increased alcohol consumption, difficult relationships with extended family, decisions about where to spend holidays and access to children in separated families can all be factors.

“We encourage people to seek help if they feel under stress or are otherwise not coping.

“If someone is a victim of family violence or in a relationship that makes them fearful about their own or anyone else's safety, they should seek help as soon as possible.

“If something doesn’t feel right, trust your instinct – everyone has the right to be safe.

“Violence is never okay and we want all victims of crime to be assured that if they come forward, their case will be taken seriously and treated sensitively.

“It is important that people are aware of the warning signs of an unhealthy relationship (red flags) and understand the factors that can make family violence a real risk.”

Eric says red flags / high risk factors to be aware of, include:

• Stalking
• Strangulation
• Coercive and controlling behaviour
• Suicide/homicide threats
• Intimidation
• Child abuse
• Sexual assault
• Worsening violence – more severe, more frequent
• Intense jealousy or possessiveness
• Use of weapons
• Animal/pet abuse
• Alcohol/drug/mental health issues
• Community issues/isolation
• Pregnancy/new birth
• Victim voicing fear of harm
• Separation

(Continue reading below)

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“If you suspect someone close to you is a victim of family violence or feel something is not right, it’s okay to act on it – you could save a life,” Eric says. 

If they are in immediate danger there are people who can help – call Police on 111.

“We know there are also people who don’t want to harm their loved ones but who are facing an internal struggle.

“Stay strong: walk away and take a moment so you don’t do something you’ll regret to someone you love.

“If you are in immediate danger and you cannot call Police on 111, leave your house and get out of harm’s way.

“Your safety comes first.

“Get to a safe distance and then ask a neighbour, or a passer-by to call 111 for you.

“If you’re in danger but can’t talk: call 111, and push 55 and you will be put through to Police.”

Eric says this is how it works:

• Calling from a mobile – if you do not speak, your call is directed to a recorded message.
• You will be asked to press 55 if you require emergency assistance.
• If you press 55 your call will go through to Police. The recorded message is repeated twice and if 55 is not pushed the call is ended.
• Calling from a landline – if you do not speak, the 111 operator will ask you to press any number on your phone if you require an emergency service. If any button is pressed your call will go through to Police.
• The 111 operator will ask you twice to push any button and if no buttons are pushed the call is ended.

Further information can be found at by clicking here. 

The following organisations can provide further support and information:

• Women’s Refuge crisis line | 0800 733 843 - 24 hours |
• Family violence information line | 0800 456 450 |
• Shine National Helpline | 0508 744 633 -9am to 11pm |
• Shakti – for migrant and refugee women | 0800 742 584 - 24 hours |
• National network of stopping violence | 03 391 0048 |
• Elder Abuse Helpline | 0800 32 668 65 - 24 hours |
• Gandhi Nivas – supporting men to be free from violence | 0800 426 344 |
• Hey Bro helpline – supporting men to be free from violence| 0800 HeyBro (439 276)|
• Hohou te rongo kahukura – outing violence - building rainbow communities free from violence|www.kahukura.co.nz |
• You, me, us – promoting healthy queer, trans and takatāpui relationships |www.youmeus.co.nz |
• Sensitive Claims ACC | 0800 735 566 |
• Pet Refuge

If you suspect someone close to you is a victim of family violence or feel something is not right, it’s okay to act on it – you could save a life.

If they are in immediate danger there are people who can help - Call Police on 111.